


To Call a Flower by Another Name

by 8abyeojin



Category: K-pop, ONEUS (Band), ONEWE (Band)
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Ravwoong, Xido, m/m - Freeform, oneus - Freeform, onewe - Freeform, weus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-06 20:33:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20513087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8abyeojin/pseuds/8abyeojin
Summary: When the Hanahaki Disease afflicts Son Dongju's mother, Dongju loses all sense of hope in love. Then he meets Kim Geonhak at a party and breaks down his walls.A story of learning to love.





	To Call a Flower by Another Name

When Son Dongju was 3, his father gifted his mother an enormous bouquet of scarlet chrysanthemums. It was his apology for forgetting their anniversary, begging and pleading for her forgiveness. She kindly forgave him, I mean, he was the love of her life, right? 

When Son Dongju was 7, his mother gifted his father a bouquet of the same flowers. In their relationship, this had come to be a cute story to tell others on double dates with the kids at home, a little reminder of the sweet gesture the man had made in the wake of his error. Scarlet chrysanthemums littered their home, photos on the wall, single blossoms in clear vases, a garden of the lot in the backyard where Dongju and his best friend, Kim Youngjo, played tag.

"Why are there so many of these in your house, Dongju-ie?"

"My parents love each other. My dad got them for my mama!" Dongju had excitedly squealed to his friend.

When Son Dongju was 10, his father had forgotten another anniversary, still out of town when the date had come and pass without even a voicemail to say "I love you" to his mother. At nights, his mom would get sick to her stomach, telling her son it was food poisoning. Telling him not to eat the leftovers, but he could see the scarlet chrysanthemums left around the toilet. A few days later, his father came home and although Dongju was excited to see his dad and show him his new tablet, his mom held him back.

"You can't keep doing this to us. You can't keep lying to me, having me lie to him. He's old enough now to start remembering all of this." His mom choked out. Dongju looked at her, confused at the situation. What was wrong? His parents loved each other, he had even told Youngjo so.

"What's wrong, mama?" Dongju asked, worryingly.

"Nothing, sweetheart. I just have surgery next week, worried about if your papa will be there to drop me off at the hospital. Hey, why don't you go see if Youngjo wants to play and we can go get burgers later?" And with that Dongju ran off, not hearing the argument unfold between his two 'in love' parents.

True to her word, she did take Youngjo and Dongju out for burgers that day, but something had changed. She appeared to be pale, sweating. 

"Dongju-ie, is your mom okay? She looks really sick." Youngjo asked him. Even Youngjo had come to love his parents, is like a second child to them. He'd spent weeks in their home, becoming accustomed to the scarlet that clouded every room, even Dongju's.

"She's okay, she just has food poisoning." He reassured his best friend. Besides, his mother and he shared everything. She would tell him if she were sick.

When Son Dongju was 14, his mother had successfully gotten rid of every trace of scarlet in the home they'd once shared with his father. His parents had divorced a few months ago, after a year of separation. They'd forgotten about how Dongju-ie was growing up, how he'd eventually learn the truth.

"I think my mom had Hanahaki Disease, Youngjo. Remember when she went into surgery? She was completely fine after that. Then my parents divorced." Dongju's realization came with an abrupt sadness, realizing that his parent's perfect marriage wasn't as perfect as it seemed.

Sitting on the sofa with Youngjo, Dongju rested his head on Youngjo's lap.

"She could have told me the truth."

And so things had changed for Dongju. Everything he believed in had turned out to be a lie, falsified like the bouquet of chrysanthemums he hid in his closet for memories of his father he hadn't seen in years. He began drawing, painting, doing anything he could to perfectly replicate flowers for each type of love lost. Although each flower was different for each sufferer of the disease, Dongju quickly became better with matching situations to a flower. He'd even guessed a few flowers for a couple before they’d separated.

When Son Dongju was 19, he went to university. Youngjo had already graduated, being a few years older than him, so they shared an apartment close to Dongju's campus and the bakery where Youngjo worked.

"God, are you ever gonna leave the apartment? Speak to, like, anyone?" Youngjo had grumbled one night, stumbling in with his boyfriend, Hwanwoong. The two had been dating since Youngjo moved to Seoul for university.

"Sorry. I'm gonna go take a walk, then."

Things had changed since he found out the truth about his parents' relationship. His father had begun taking frequent trips out of town, meeting with a young woman who he had been seeing every month. Intending to go for business, he’d fallen in love with the woman and her antics. That was the day of his anniversary, the day he came stumbling in with scarlet chrysanthemums for his wife.

The same wife who could feel the effects of his distancing love. She'd seen it coming but wanted to hold on to the one she loved. It didn't work for long, she'd had to get the surgery and lose her feelings. Once she did, his father moved to America to live with his new girlfriend.

So, yeah. Dongju kept to himself, now. He'd sworn off real relationships, too afraid of the same situation to happen to him. His mother was a strong woman, but Dongju? Could never endure such heartbreak.

He preferred art over people, and would often hide away in his favorite exhibit of the art museum. Sometimes he'd even venture to the botanical gardens and have a whiff of the beautiful violet chrysanthemums. Anything but scarlet. Frequently, he'd draw people he saw in the gardens, choosing to assign them a flower, an instant heartbreak story.

Every other day he'd heard, "Dongju, I love you, but you've got to stop with this obsession." That's what Youngjo called it. An "obsession." His "obsession" with the heartbreak flowers and with avoiding love. The obsession had almost cost him his friendship with Youngjo a year back. Youngjo had developed a small crush on Dongju, but Dongju refused to even hear him out, out of fear of his own heartbreak. He stopped replying to Youngjo's texts, calls, didn't answer anyone. Dongju finally apologized a month later, Youngjo having already lost the minuscule crush.

This late at night, on a walk to let Youngjo finally get laid by Hwanwoong, he could almost see what Youngjo saw. How Youngjo looked at Hwanwoong with pure adoration and forever love, and how Hwanwoong looked at him the same way. Dongju could almost see that in the bright sky, shining with stars. But then, he'd remember.

Guys he'd been with thought it was weird to base his relationships off of his parents’ relationship, but he wouldn't hear them out. He just wanted to be safe. And safety, in this case, was steering clear from love.

Walking back to the apartment, he'd barely noticed the sun beginning to rise, the sky becoming a red color. He didn't quite get how Youngjo and Hwanwoong trusted each other with their lives like this, but he does wish them the best. Walking into the apartment, he sees the two cuddled up on the sofa, and covers them with his heavy blanket.

See? Love didn't have to be romantic. Dongju had friends. A couple, actually. He knew Keonhee from his Primeval Intersection class he had every other day, and he knew Seoho from his elective, Cultural Influences. So, yeah. He had friends.

When Dongju was 21, he'd actually made friends. He'd become quite close with Keonhee, Seoho, and their friend Yonghoon and his friends as well as with a couple of friends from his job at the Botanical Garden.

"Harin, no, I am not getting Tinder to find a boyfriend. I don't even want a boyfriend!" 

Dongju sighed for the nth time. Another thing he did change is how carefree he was with opening up. Of course, Hwanwoong and Youngjo knew about his parents, but it wasn't something Dongju necessarily had to tell everyone.

"Fine. But Dongmyeong’s gonna make fun of you because you didn't bring a date." Harin huffed, giving up on trying to break Dongju out of his shell. I mean, it's not like he's celibate.

"A date? To where? I don't do parties."

"It's Kiwook's party. We're going. Look, you're already the guy who won't settle down, don't be the guy who ignored an invitation to a Kiwook party, please?" She begged.

"Fine." And so that's how Dongju winded up here, at a brightly lit bar near his campus. Plenty of guys and girls had hit on him, and he definitely flirted back, but he never leads anyone on. He's always clear with his intentions.

"Not enjoying yourself?" Dongju asked a black-haired boy sitting at the same bar. 

"Not really. My friend dragged me here, saying I needed to destress and get laid." The boy laughed, a very gentle laugh. Pretty, if you will.

"Same here." Dongju nodded at the bartender to get her attention. "Excuse me, on coke and rum for this guy, here, please?"

"Oh! Oh, no. I don't drink. I could take just a coke though." The boy smiled.

"Cute and sober. I like it. So what's your name, raven boy?"

"Geonhak. Kim Geonhak. You?"

"Son Dongju."

And that was the start of a close friendship between the boys. They'd begun to even take walks together in the Gardens when Dongju had a vacation day, and Geonhak became his raven-haired muse. 

When Son Dongju was 24, he realized he'd started developing feelings for his friend, Geonhak. It didn't help that the two, plus Yonghoon, Harin, Dongmyeong, Hwanwoong, Youngjo, Seoho, Kiwook, Kanghyun, and Keonhee were always holed up in Dongju and Youngjo's apartment, never apart.

"Youngjo-ie, you better watch out. Geonhak's about to steal your best friend." Kanghyun had joked one night after a marathon of some horror movies. The two boys had cuddled up on the smaller couch, arms wrapped around each other's torsos, head leaned on shoulders.

Youngjo should have laughed at the joke, maybe even gotten annoyed at Kanghyun's nickname. But he couldn't. He could only stare at the boys on the couch.

Hwanwoong sensed his unease and whispered to him, "Geonhak won't hurt him, Youngjo. He's too sweet and so obviously whipped for Dongju-ie."

"It's Geonhak I'm worried about."

Since that night, the boys had gotten even closer, Geonhak spilling all of his biggest secrets and fears to his closest friend, trusting in him completely.

"Sometimes, I just think I'm either not destined to meet my soulmate. I mean, not like that sort of thing exists, but I don't know... nobody's ever taken that kind of interest in me."

"We're soulmates. Soulmates don't have to be romantic, Kim. I think we know each other well and love each other enough to be soulmates." So from then on, that's what the pair were.

Though the other boys had learned quickly not to joke around about what they had.

"Look at them, "soulmates". They're in love!" Dongmyeong had joked once, seeing them hug. It immediately turned out to be a bad joke, as Dongju glared at him.

"Can't two guys just be friends and not be in love? Leave us the hell alone."

So... no more jokes.

It was poetic, really. It wasn't like Dongju didn't see his obvious feeling for Geonhak, or the even more obvious reciprocation Geonhak held, he was afraid of the future. Of when Geonhak would inevitably find someone else, someone better.

Dongju would constantly think about how perfect his mom was, how she'd been the most loving wife and mother, how talented she was, how beautiful. Compared to her, how was someone like him supposed to find love? Did he even deserve to? If his mom couldn't even save her relationship, what made him think he could even begin one?

Those were things he didn't tell Geonhak or Youngjo. The days where he had those thoughts, he went to the Gardens, still avoiding the scarlet-colored omens, instead focusing on people. Couples.

Dongju wasn't an idiot, he knew that most relationships worked out and that he could easily get the surgery to remove the petals, but... he was petrified of even letting it get that far. But what was worse was seeing a couple, a man with dark brown hair like him, and another man with raven hair like Geonhak. 

_ That could be us _ .

What was worse was that it could be anyone else with Geonhak, too. He'd noticed Geonhak starting to hang around Seoho more. The pair had a lot in common, and a similar class schedule. When Dongju planned to hang out with Geonhak at the Gardens, sometimes Geonhak canceled and would be seen chatting with Seoho. At the time, Dongju thought, "Maybe this is for the best. I won't allow him to hurt me, and this way, I can't hurt him either..." But after seeing the couple, he kicked into action.

_ That could be us _ , He kept thinking while jogging back to his apartment, where all of the boys usually hang.

When he got in, he heard small giggles and hushed voices.

"I love you... so so much," Geonhak whispered.

"I love you, too," Seoho replied to him, immediately bursting into laughter afterward. 

_ So this is what it was like _ , Dongju thought. This is how my mother felt, all those years ago.

He was fine. It's not like he had rights over Geonhak or anything, Geonhak wasn't required to love him forever... they were soulmates, just not the romantic type, Dongju guessed. And he felt fine, too. No chrysanthemums building in his stomach... maybe this was for the best then.

A few days later, Dongju felt fine. It didn't matter that someone he loved didn't love him back. He would find someone else, he's just as strong as his mother.

"Dongju-ie? What's wrong?" Hwanwoong asked while Youngjo was splayed out on the sofa with earbuds in.

"The world, man. The world is wrong." Dongju sighed. He didn't mean to be this dramatic, truly. He didn't want to love Geonhak. Geonhak was beautiful, intelligent, talented, and hilarious, but he was also human. Flawed. That meant at any given time, he could have fallen out of love with Dongju, too. And Dongju... he couldn't bear that. It would be all too much. So this bubble he lives in? He's okay with this being a permanent residence. As long as he's safe.

"Come sit, man," Hwanwoong gestured at the beaten-down couch he and Youngjo sat on. "And Youngjo, take those out. Dongju is distressed." He yanked out Youngjo's earbuds.

"I'm not distressed!" Dongju exclaimed.

"You are. And we're going to settle this now. Hwanwoong, can you go get my other earbuds from the bedroom?" Youngjo asked Hwanwoong, as he knew Dongju wouldn't even think of opening up with anyone else around.

As Hwanwoong left the room, Youngjo sighed. "I told you, Dongju-ie. You can't keep doing this. You're hurting yourself. Denying your true feelings may seem safe, but it's not. You're hiding, and you've been hiding too long."

"What are you on about?"

"Geonhak. Black-haired soulmate Geonhak. The one you let give you back hugs, hold your hand, watch you paint. You listen to his unfinished music and boost his confidence. You smile at him when he's not looking, you haven't even given him a designated flower, for God's sake! The fact that you can't imagine someone not loving him is proof enough." Youngjo explained calmly to his friend.

See, Youngjo had witnessed his friend in every stage of life. Mrs. Kim had Youngjo by the hand when Dongju was born. He'd taught baby Dongju how to read, breaking out the classic storybooks everyone read about love. He didn't read Dongju the bad stories, and eventually, he learned it the hard way. 

Now Son Dongju was 24. And Youngjo was not taking any shit.

"Dongju. Tell him, don't tell him, whatever. It's your life. But I refuse to watch you keep this mindset. Love isn't bad. Don't you see how Hwanwoong loves me? How I love him? How we have trust, respect, mutual interests? Your parents met and immediately wedded. Hwanwoong and I have known each other for years before you even came to university. We lived together. We share music, we like the same foods, we are friends first and in love at the same time."

"But Geonhak and I aren't-"

"Aren't what? In love? The way that you love each other is astounding. The way that you can't see it is even more." Youngjo finished, Hwanwoong coming back into the room.

"Okay. Okay. Yes. You're right." Dongju nodded.

"Damn right, he is." Hwanwoong smiled, making it clear that he'd heard everything.

When the rest of the eleven boys piled in, Keonhee and Kiwook oddly holding hands, Seoho and Geonhak playfully touching each other, and the rest raiding their barren fridge Dongju hardened his resolve.

But Geonhak spoke first. "Hey, Dongju-ie, can we talk?" He said, wringing out his hands.

"Of course." The two walked into Dongju's bedroom, being farthest from the rest of the boys and sat in their usual seat.

"I've been thinking... a lot." Geonhak started, and Dongju smiled.

"Well, there's a first time for everything." The two laughed, somewhat settling the nervous energy in the air.

See, Dongju had come to accept it. Love was love. He's in love with Geonhak, and that's okay. Geonhak isn't in love with him and that isn't his fault, Dongju chose to love him, like he chose to help redye his Geonhak's hair like he chose to not give Geonhak a flower-like he chose to smile at his antics when playing Minecraft together.

He's choosing to let him go.

"Dongju, I'm in love with you."

"What?" Of all the things Dongju had expected him to say, it wasn't this.

See, it wasn't that Dongju believed he was unlovable, it was the opposite. He knew he deserved love, he was just terrified of giving it out. Of how one day, his or his partner's love could run aplenty just to be scarce another day. He was terrified of hurting Geonhak the way his father hurt his mother.

"I love you. I think it's obvious," Geonhak somewhat nervously laughed. "You're like an experience I haven't had the privilege to understand yet, and don't get me wrong, I love our friendship. I just love you in a different way, want to know you in a different way. I want to be the opposite of a flower to you."

At that, Dongju blanched. He'd never told Geonhak about his parents, what had happened to them. How flowers terrified him and so he kept them close. How the opposite of a flower was true, pure love like his friends shared.

How he knew he deserved love but was terrified of it.

"Okay," Dongju said.

"Okay?" Geonhak questioned. "What does that mean?" 

"I don't want to talk about this anymore, Geonhak. Let's just forget you ever said this, and move on." Dongju spat out.

"Yeah. Yeah, okay. Sorry I said anything. Let's just move on." Geonhak nodded, a pained expression on his face and twiddling his thumbs. A sure-fire sign he was holding back a flood behind his eyes. Dongju knew this, but it was better to hurt him now and not hurt him even worse later.

Eventually, they headed back out to the family room where the others were, and they watched a couple of movies before everyone decided to go home and only Youngjo was left in their shared apartment.

"How'd it go? Did you finally kiss or do I have to watch you pine more?" Youngjo teased him. Youngjo saw them pull away and kept the other boys occupied so as not to disturb the two. 

"I didn't tell him," Dongju said simply. 

"What? Geonhak said he'd tell you?" 

"He did."

"What do you mean he did? Stop answering in one sentence, explain!"

"Look. He's in love with me, but I could hurt him! I could lose my love for him in an instant, just like my dad did for my mom. I always sympathized with my mom, but what if my dad didn't even mean to do that to her?" Dongju rambled to his best friend.

"Are you fucking serious? You are not your dad. You are not your mom. You are Son Dongju. One, singular, Son Dongju. You love Kim Geonhak. Kim Geonhak loves you. Time... well, it goes on, and it changes people. So, if your love changes, so be it. Love him anyw-" Youngjo's long speech was cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. It was Yonghoon.

"Geonhak's at the hospital! He had a sudden blooming of the flowers, started vomiting and crying. I've never seen anything like this... I have no idea what to do. Please get down here." He pleaded, clearly holding back a sob.

"Of course. I'll bring Dongju, too." Youngjo nodded, although Yonghoon couldn't see him.

"Don't. Geonhak told us what happened with Dongju. Did he really tell Dongju-ie to just forget about it?" Yonghoon spat out. "I love Dongju-ie with all my heart, but... a line was crossed. Geonhak's fucking broken and we don't know what to do..."

Youngjo glared daggers at Dongju while grabbing his coat from the closet by the door.

"I'll be there soon, Yonghoon-ie. Please calm down, take a breath." Youngjo said and hung up the phone.

"You're going to stay here. You've done enough damage." Youngjo said to Dongju.

Dongju was left in his apartment alone, and he decided to finally go through his room and organize, not being able to keep calm.

He opened his closet and found a big black box. His memory chest. Inside, he found remnants of his past he didn't even remember he'd kept.

_ A stone _ . A stone from his hometown, from the park he and Youngjo had met at. 

_ A medal _ . A medal from when he'd gotten participation points for entering a painting contest at age 6.

_ A ribbon _ . A ribbon his mom used to wear often that he loved.

_ A bottle cap _ . The bottle cap from the coke Dongju bought Geonhak at the bar they first met at.

_ A polaroid _ . A polaroid photo of him and all the boys.

Not a single flower. This is what it had taken for Dongju to realize he was not his parents. He was Son Dongju. He loved art, he loved creating, he even liked singing a little bit, too! 

Grabbing his keys, he ran out of the apartment and to the hospital in the pouring rain.

"Where's Kim Geonhak?" He pleaded with the receptionist.

"I can't tell you that, sir. Please stop asking or I'll call security."

"Pleas-" Dongju was cut off by Seoho's voice.

"He's with my group, ma'am." And Seoho led him to the room Geonhak was in. "I thought you'd be here sooner, man."

"What?" 

"You're in love with him and I know it. Just as bad as he loves you. He even had me be his test dummy and he practiced on me." Seoho smiled, crossing his arms.

"So... is he getting the surgery? To remove his love for me?" Dongju quietly asked, for the first time in his life quiet and shy. Nervous.

"He doesn't want to... but he thinks he has to. You could tell him he doesn't. But you'll have to lose the fear and mature before you walk in there. Kim Geonhak deserves the best of Son Dongju. Give him that." Seoho patted his back. "Now go."

Dongju quietly walked into the brightly lit room, the other boys grabbing Geonhak a drink while he rested. 

"You're here..." Geonhak whispered.

"Geonhak, you're my soulmate. Of course I'd be here." Dongju walked up to the chair next to Geonhak's hospital bed. He could see the litter of purple daisies spread all throughout the room. God, he felt like shit.

"Geonhak... I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to be. It's okay that you don't return my love. I'm grateful to have loved you, anyway."

"No, please... I.. I love you too. And I was terrified. Terrified of hurting you, of you hurting me. Things not working between us and one of us getting this horrible disease because of another.. but it happened anyway. I love you so much. The way you smile with your body, the way you hug everyone around you. Your nose scrunches, your deep voice. Your kind nature. Your  _ impeccable  _ skill of bursting watermelons. I love you so much."

"You mean that?" Geonhak asked, laughing a bit and pulling Dongju closer to him.

"I do." 

The two locked eyes. They could see everything they'd never seen before. Things one could only dream of. Dongju saw love and vulnerability. True and pure fascination with one another. A future. Truthfulness. Geonhak saw love and respect. A mutual understanding and trust of one another. A future.

“I was never this vulnerable and open before you. Was nowhere near soft… I met you that day and all of my walls fell down, even the guys kept joking about it. But, I’m glad I met you.”

"So can we cancel this surgery?" Geonhak asked, taking hold of Dongju’s hand.

"Not yet," Dongju replied.

"What? Why not yet?"

"Kiss me first."

When Son Dongju was 28, he married Kim Geonhak. With his brothers behind him and his parents in front of him. 

Purple daisies littered the aisle of the chapel.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. If this was bad.... don't let me know. But if this was good, feel free. Read my other au, too.


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